Wow. It’s been a loooong time since I last posted here. But today I feel the need to because it’s an important day. It’s one of those “turning point” days for me as I close one chapter of my life to start a new one.
I’m pregnant!
…
Okay, lies.
The truth is I wrapped up my stint as CraveOnline.com’s Gaming Editor today after six years of service. I said my goodbyes (both in person and through email) to all my coworkers, let my many, many PR contacts in on the situation, and even put the word out on social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook. The support has been phenomenal and has reaffirmed my decision, even though it was a fuckin’ hard one to make.
It’s not easy to justify leaving a paying gig for raw nothingness, but that’s the move I’ve made. Now I live with it and roll where the tide takes me. It’s worked out just fine for me over the past 28 years. Let’s see if I can tap into that luck just a little bit longer.
But the real point of this post on my all-but-deserted blog is to clear the air and answer one question: why the hell would I give up working from home to write about video games for a living?
The answer is actually pretty simple: the hobby I’ve loved since I was 6 years old when my parents first brought home an original Nintendo from a yard sale was being damaged in the process. I was becoming that jaded asshole I never ever want to be. But that happens when you see the same trends repeat over and over again and your job requires you to find new ways to make them seem exciting for readers. It’s not Crave’s fault at all; it’s just the nature of pop culture writing. At some point you become more hype man than voice of the people. I feel it’s at that point of self awareness when the juice is no longer worth the squeeze.
It should also be said that being freelance isn’t all it’s cracked up to be either. Sure, I got to sleep till whenever I wanted (sometimes 11am!), make my own hours and work in pajamas, but there are downsides too. Probably the biggest one is the lack of daily human interaction (cats and dogs are lousy at conversation). Also, no salary and benefits kind of sucks, especially as you get older.
I want those safety nets back. I also want to enjoy playing video games again. Hence, I’m moving on to something new.
What that something is I’m not entirely sure. I’m pretty much up for whatever. I just know I want to separate business and pleasure. With that said, I wouldn’t trade the last six years of my life for anything. It was exactly what I wanted at that point in time and I regret nothing. To many it will seem like I’m giving up “the dream,” and I’m grateful I got to live it for as long as I did on my own terms, but life moves in mysterious ways, doesn’t it? One minute you want something, then the next you don’t. I wish there was some sort of CliffNotes for how this shit should work.
Anyway, I’m going to wrap this up as it’s gone on far longer than I expected. I want to thank everyone for reading my thoughts, and even more for supporting me in whatever comes next. I will take that support as an open invitation to sleep on your couch should things go poorly…
-E